Falling Asleep in the Library

Last night, I was sitting in the library and falling asleep because my music taste is not the best choice for studying since it consists of calming vocals and soft instrumentals (otherwise known as the “coffee shop and chill” kinda music). 

And gradually, I stopped doing my homework all together and magically ended up on social media. I scrolled through some social media celebrities on instagram (otherwise known as “people I think are really cool but the world just doesn't know it yet”). Their posts inspire me, in good and not so good ways. I look at what other people post and wonder how they get so many likes, or how their artwork looks so beautiful, or how their pictures look so perfect or how their aesthetic is my actual dream. 

So then I retreated back to my personal instagram and looked at my pictures, wishing that my aesthetic could be better. But then when I looked closer at my pictures, I saw something that the posts I had just been scrolling through were lacking: realness. My posts told a story that only I can tell, one that is personal and unique to me. I share specific pictures for specific reasons: they were memories I wanted to remember, memories I wanted to share with the world. Not in a selfish way, or to make it look like I have my life together (cause I am very very far from perfect!) 

My struggles, like all struggles, are not pretty. But sometimes I share things that I struggle with to remind myself, and others, I am not perfect, my life is not put together even if a picture makes it seem that way. And last night, I was really reflecting on that. I don't always need to have a witty remark or a reflective caption to be seen, known and loved. I just need to be who the Lord created me to be: His beloved daughter. There is a beauty inside me that only I can add to this world; a perfect dose of joy and love that only I can add to the world. 

I don't need to feel defeated when I don't get attention from others. Just because my picture or post doesn't get millions of likes doesn't mean people don't like me. Because really, their opinions of me don't matter. Sure, they can hurt me or lift me up, but only momentarily in comparison to the Father’s love for me. He loves me as if I am His only daughter and desires me to be so close to His Sacred Heart that I can hear every single beat. I am His child, looking at Him in awe and wonder, desiring to known Him better.

So last night, I made a joking, yet kinda serious post on instagram about beauty. “Beauty will save the world” is what it said. And I think this is true. My beauty, your beauty, feminine beauty, masculine beauty, nature’s beauty; all of these will change the world. The beauty that the Lord gave you is unique and specific to you and the world so needs to see it, be changed by it, grow through it. 

Let your beauty shine. You are not defined by likes, comments, shares, retweets, memes or followers; you are defined by your dignity as a person that the Lord so loves. You are so worth loving. You are beautiful. You are beloved.