new heights
A few days ago I went zip lining. It was maybe the fourth time I've done it since I was at camp, but this time I sent myself. Down a zip line. It was in my hands if something went wrong. (Thankfully nothing did go wrong because here I am, writing this blog post.) It was terrifying, but in the moment it seemed right. I tightly clutched the yellow webbing connected to my harness by a carabiner and began to swing my legs.
What the heck am I doing???
While my mind was scared, it was also ready to take on this journey down the zip line head on. So I began to swing my legs, as if I was trying to get higher and higher on a swing at the park. I slowly began to smile as I rushed down the cable to the receiving end. What a crazy and wild life I am living! For the first time in a while, I felt free. In that moment on the zip line, while I was swinging my feet and smiling, I felt completely free because I was trusting that I was being held and carried to safety.
What the heck am I doing???
While my mind was scared, it was also ready to take on this journey down the zip line head on. So I began to swing my legs, as if I was trying to get higher and higher on a swing at the park. I slowly began to smile as I rushed down the cable to the receiving end. What a crazy and wild life I am living! For the first time in a while, I felt free. In that moment on the zip line, while I was swinging my feet and smiling, I felt completely free because I was trusting that I was being held and carried to safety.
I made a leap (well technically I walked slowly off the platform) and went down the zip line, which is something that is quite terrifying for me. When I was younger, I was so scared of heights that I couldn't even walk over a bridge without breaking into tears. I didn't like that I was so high off the ground, off of where I was safe and secure. This fear has translated into my life now as well, but not just with physical heights, but with spiritual ones as well.
Here I am, a recent college grad, and I am still nervous that the Lord will not hold me through trials and obstacles in my life, or be there on the receiving end. Yet time and time again, I am proved wrong. This summer, He carried me through and gave me the strength to persevere through many difficult days. I grew in trust of Him and His plan for my life. At this point last year, I would never have thought I would be a missionary in Texas. Even if you had told me upon graduation in May that I was going to be spending a full year in Texas as a missionary, I would not have believed you. Yet look at me: Here I am in Texas, as a missionary at the camp that changed my life this summer. God really does have a sense of humor.
At the beginning of staff training, I could barely make it off the zip line. I am not joking when I say that it took me almost ten minutes to go off. I was scarred of the ledge - the ending of security and the beginning of openness. This summer as a counselor, I began on that ledge, scared of what was to come in the openness of the zip alley where there was no place to place my feet on solid ground. I was nervous to go outside of my comfort zone and leap into His loving embrace, trusting Him to carry me through. I had to trust in the equipment and be encouraged by the staff around me to get through a summer filled with many new and uncomfortable things that allowed me to grow.
And here I am now, able to happily swing my legs and smile as I zip down into safety, trusting in the equipment to hold my weight. He really does meet you where you are at and use your abilities in that moment to challenge and form you into the person He needs you to be in the world.
Here I am, a recent college grad, and I am still nervous that the Lord will not hold me through trials and obstacles in my life, or be there on the receiving end. Yet time and time again, I am proved wrong. This summer, He carried me through and gave me the strength to persevere through many difficult days. I grew in trust of Him and His plan for my life. At this point last year, I would never have thought I would be a missionary in Texas. Even if you had told me upon graduation in May that I was going to be spending a full year in Texas as a missionary, I would not have believed you. Yet look at me: Here I am in Texas, as a missionary at the camp that changed my life this summer. God really does have a sense of humor.
At the beginning of staff training, I could barely make it off the zip line. I am not joking when I say that it took me almost ten minutes to go off. I was scarred of the ledge - the ending of security and the beginning of openness. This summer as a counselor, I began on that ledge, scared of what was to come in the openness of the zip alley where there was no place to place my feet on solid ground. I was nervous to go outside of my comfort zone and leap into His loving embrace, trusting Him to carry me through. I had to trust in the equipment and be encouraged by the staff around me to get through a summer filled with many new and uncomfortable things that allowed me to grow.
And here I am now, able to happily swing my legs and smile as I zip down into safety, trusting in the equipment to hold my weight. He really does meet you where you are at and use your abilities in that moment to challenge and form you into the person He needs you to be in the world.
This year, there is going to be a lot of unknown and learning. I will be reaching higher and higher for Him, attaining new heights and conquering many fears. Throughout the year, I will be trusting that He can hold my weight and all my baggage that I bring with me - fears, anxieties, struggles, dreams, goals - all of it. This year, I am going to be smiling as I rush down the cable that allows me to trust more in Him. And through it, I will be swinging my legs like a little child on a swing set; I'll feel the wind brush against my cheeks and my purple hair whipping crazily around my face as I journey closer and deeper into His loving heart.
Is it going to be hard? Heck yes! But will it be worth it? Beyond what I can even begin to imagine.
Is it going to be hard? Heck yes! But will it be worth it? Beyond what I can even begin to imagine.
This year, I am going to have childlike joy as I journey through this missionary year - with purple hair, wide eyes, red converse and a big 'ol smile.
Verso L'alto, friends - to the heights!
Verso L'alto, friends - to the heights!
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