I fell in love again

I held between my hands a beautiful creation, something that I had patiently awaited. And all I could do was just look at it. It was beautiful, it was exactly what I wanted (and needed) and it was mine. Closing my eyes, I breathed in deep and exhaled a smile. Looking down at it again, I was excited all over again. I held it in one hand as I walked over to the couch. As I curled myself up on the couch, getting cozy and comfortable, I realized something.

I had fallen in love with coffee. Again. 

I've had a strong love for coffee since the last few months of high school, but since then this love has grown into a passion that integrates itself into many conversations. But then I got used to having it. My desire for it had become more of a normalcy and less of a need for the love of it. Soon, it came to the point where I just had it because I physically needed it to get through my day, but the enjoyment had faded. Creating the perfect cup wasn't as fun anymore, I became more impatient with waiting for it to be brewed.

Recently, I took a step back. I had tried to limit myself to one cup a day and since then I have become to grow more fond of the making of the perfect cup again. From the grinding to watching it brew in my french press to now being able to froth milk if I want (thankful for friends who know my love of coffee and gift me a frother). 

And this morning, I fell in love all over again. With beans from my favorite coffee shop in Milwaukee, Colectivo, and some frothed almond/oat milk, I was one happy gal. It was such an incredible feeling to start my day. I had forgotten how much I loved coffee in its simplicity; I didn't need to complicate it.

The sun still shines when we forget our need for it, just like Jesus still waits for us when we forget our true need for Him. Unlike coffee, He is essential for a joy filled life. I don't need coffee, but I do love the smell, taste...well, everything really. But I do need Jesus, as cliche as that may sound, but it's so deeply true. 

I need Jesus.

I need Him every morning when I rise, every night when I sleep, and every moment in between. I truly need Him every day, but sometimes I forget. I forget I need His love; I forget I need His grace; I forget I need His beauty; I forget to go to Him. Instead I go about my day with a small itsy bitsy little pain in my heart that I know can only be fulfilled by Him, but I try to fill it with other things - social media, movies, music, conversation.

Taking a break from buying "fancy" coffees and going back to grinding my own beans has made me love to just sit and soak in the goodness of good cup. And it made me to fall in love again. During this time of unknowns, changes and confusion, I want to fall in love with Him again. I want to just sit and soak in His mercies, graces and love. But I don't want to love Him in a surface level way. I want to love Him in the way that seeps into my brokenness and transforms me daily, and then pours into every single moment of my day.

So here I am, broken and so tired, running to the cup that truly fills me and gives me life.