Red Converse in the Snow

I wore my red converse when I walked on a frozen over lake. Probably not my smartest decision, since along the way my feet sunk into the snow, allowing the snow to sneak into my shoes and sit on top of my thin socks (another mistake). But in the moment, it seemed right. I was in North Dakota laughing with some of the coolest people and making memories. I was here to learn how to love and be joyful so why not wear something that made me remember His Sacred Heart was beating out of love for me?

Okay, so that might not have been my direct intention, but it was a nice after thought. I mainly wore them because they were comfortable and more broken in than my hiking boots, which would have been much warmer. I honestly had just brought my converse for Mass and for the retreat we lead on Sunday. That was it. Yet I wore them every single day. But at the same time, wearing these shoes reminded me about the beauty of mission: everyone is different, everyone works in different ways, everyone has different gifts, but everyone is still loved and serving. My bright red converse, believe it or not, reminded me of this. Not the most profound thing, but it was a tangible thing for me.

During mission, we frequently took off our shoes upon entering buildings to not track snow all over the floor. Looking at the shoes, most people wore boots. Not fashion boots, but heavy duty hiking boots or super warm winter boots that were mainly black or brown.

And then there were my red converse.

They kinda stuck out. Not only were they clearly not winter shoes, but they were red. A bright vibrant red. Not a color that is easy to hide. 

And neither is His love.

During mission, I was literally followed by the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts. I am not lying when I say that every building I was in had at least four or five images of the Hearts. It was not hidden; it was out there for everyone to see, whether they wanted to see it or not. His merciful love was present in every moment on mission: through the daily morning holy hour, daily Mass, praying night prayer and every interaction with everyone at St. Ann's. Every moment I was reminded of His love for me and for all people. 

But don't get me wrong, mission was hard physically and emotionally. The work was difficult and tedious, but those people that I was serving appreciated it so much. Their joyful faces and thankful smiles made my spirits rise, making my heart so full of love and stronger in His love. It was mentally hard as well because sometimes I just really wanted to sleep and not paint yet another wall. But then I remembered who I was doing this for and the whole reason I came on mission: to be the hands and feet of Christ to all the people I would encounter that week, including my own team and the team from Southern Mississippi. 

There are so many beautiful examples of His love being manifest in the people I served and met this past week. They were so generous in their hospitality towards us when they didn't need to be; they welcomed us into their homes, lives and hearts. While I may not have affected a single person last week, my heart has been more deeply opened to His love. I experienced so much joy, acceptance and love over mission. And while I am still processing everything that happened in order to fully understand what I learned on mission, I know that I learned a lot over that week. I was humbled, made little so He could be made greater, shown the beauty of childlike wonder in the presence of our Lord, filled with joy.

St. Teresa of Calcutta has a beautiful quote about doing small things with great love. That was mission for me. Doing what seemed like little things to me, such as painting, cooking, organizing books, cleaning the table; but do them with great love. Through these acts, I strived to show the love of the Father. I may not have always done it well, but I tried. We were hidden in the tundra (seriously, it was really cold) of North Dakota doing humble work. It was hard, but it was beautiful.

So here I am, a girl with a servant heart who wears red converse in the snow singing "Best of Both World's" and dancing. The Father sees me, knows my heart and loves me as I am, red converse and all.